So I have been single for a while now. A new size of shirt for me; something new to try on. Imagine getting one of those sweaters from a granny with felt reindeers on it at christmas..that is how it seems at first. Its clunky, weird and ill-fitting. Fast forward to month 8 and those nights blur together. I get back from work, no one that I MUST call/write/text/email/IM. Its just me and those hems of silence. The silences are welcome, especially at 3 am. It like digging in a toybox and finding that long lost yoda or lego piece you were looking for. Some friend of mine swears when I tell him I like being single that I am lying. Its been almost 17 years of serial, not cereal, monogamy...
Right now I am sitting on my couch. I just ate too many doughnuts. I feel like a cop. When I am not on tour I eat less but when I do it tends to be like a walmart truck driver. The town I live in has a name that translated from its indian roots means "fried to death and covered in cheese."
I love good vegetarian food. I mean, there are places I know that make the most insane fake meat dishes ever. Heck, there's this place in LA that makes a vegan tv dinner that would satisfy even the fattest redneck appetite. I don't really understand this present tangent but I think it has something to do with the fact that I spent an hour looking at tv dinners at the store last night and achieved no good resolution.
Did you ever notice how those BLADE movies make techno almost sound legitimate? I was watching one of them and , ,wait, why do they all use Prodigy songs? But anyhow, soemtimes the music, and I am out on a long limb here, sounds good. Don't get me wrong, I mostly like trustfunders with loud guitars but vampires, jessica biel in a half shirt, swords and techno make a nice gumbo sometimes.
Grew up in a trailer, double wide trailer, closets, garages and even more trailers. This house, the one I am in now, is my first place with a second floor. When she is not around, I can't climb the stairs. Walking by her room, I hear sadness in my head. I look at her toys, the pink explosion, the orgy of cinderella, the care bear commune and it saddens me. Some days I don't go upstairs. Sometimes its 3 or 4 days.i know its silly. It just makes my heart sigh. I miss her.
I watched the movie "Surviving Picasso " the other day. Its a good movie if you like to peek at artists and their private lives. Its like that movie "pollock." Shows the turmoil and struggle of these people and those around them. The picasso movie is only on vhs in the US. You should be able to find it in any video store. It shows how picasso had these wives/mistresses and they never really left or disappeared, they just floated like planets in unsettled orbit around him.
I have to go back to work tomorrow. 3000 miles to clock in. excited to get the muscle back in shape.its been the slowest time of my career. I actually have felt like a citizen for once since the late '80s. It will be nice to get back in the saddle. Nuff.
